| I let my mind fade in and out of darkness. Like a childes game in the school yard. Teetering from light to dark. Cant ever seem to make the pendulum of life just be still. The troublesome part of all is that I know in my heart, mind & soul that I have stopped it, had it completely still, no teeter, just still. It was the most magical experience, beyond my own comprehension. I’ll try to explain with great detail, however I fear you would hear nothing but the rantings of a mad man. It all just melts away, everything, and nothing. It somehow makes you believe that it’s as much a part of you, as you are sure that you have two eyes. Uncertain of your surroundings, you feel if all is one, and one is nothing. Not unlike being a part of something much greater than yourself. Pure energy, energy that flows through everything, and nothing at all times. I remember everything and nothing at once, the room fads out, complete darkness, pitch black. I’m surrounded by darkness and nothing. Shine, the most remarkable ray of light, it blinds me. Instantly the darkness and nothingness are gone. The light, its so warm, it feels like the sun, it calms me. Everything I’ve ever, learned, heard, seen, done, flows through me. The light, is so bright, so beautiful, it burns my eyes. I cant bare to look, I cant bare to turn away. I forget how to breath, then I gasp. Theirs a flash, and I realize that I’m in my chair, back in this world, back in the same skin. Why would you give me that, just a little taste, a tease, a fix, a hit, a wink, a smile, a glimpse, of what ever it was you so graciously allowed for my viewing pleasure, my hearts desire, for my demise.Ive been fortunate to travel all over the world. To say the least its been a blast, I've been to Ibiza Spain, and danced for days in some of the best clubs in the world. Been on the mountain tops of Italy and drank some it's finest wines. Back packed around to places like Amsterdam, Germany, France, all through out Europe. One could say that up until this point of my life, I have lived like a rock star. So about a year ago I was briefed on how to record music kind of. So I figured I would give it a shot and see if I could make some sense out of the last thirty years. Life surely has it ups and downs, but we have to look forward and keep doing what we can. Helping people is essential in this life time, when you look back at your darkest moments their was always someone or something to pull you through, so why not return the favor. We all have a purpose, may we find it now. I'm glad to say this time that I am still alive, after a few close calls, for the most part. Well the truth of it all is that I'm a very sick person and you might not quit understand me but you will hear me. I don't need no drugs to calm me. I've been noticing a lot of different things happening in my life and all around me. I guess you really could call it life on life's terms. Or one might say you could only take so much before the whole shit house goes up in flames. I just need the writing on the wall. Unfortunately it just never seems to be fare. Sorry for all the losses to those who have touched my life in the past year, you all have taught me one-thing or another, and your in a better place then me so stop bitch-in, well some of you are you sorry ass bitches. So I give up trying to do it my way, all it ever does for me is end in wreckage. Don't think I need anything at all. Now I concede to a higher power to help where I've failed. "The next day I was worse and could not get out of bed. So I stayed in bed taking nembies at intervals. At night, I would take two strips of benzedrine and go out to a bar where I sat right by the jukebox. When you're sick, music is a great help! Once i kicked a habit in Texas on weed and a few Louis Armstrong records". - Junky BY William S.Burroughs I used this quote for the pure power of it. The suggestion that MUSIC can be a healer to some, this falls right in line with my beliefs. My passion for music has become my life and the drive I need to succeed. This is a really great site, nothing beats being able to express yourself and put it out there for others to hear, see, read whatever the case may be. Glad to feel a part of. I am happy to say that I am proud for the birth of my newest nephew Jaden. A precious Pure of heart, sweet, innocent human being, the closest thing to God, that us as human have ever had the opportunity to know. I love to play and make music. Right know I'm currently recording with the bare essentials, my bass, my p.c./ p.c. mic , my bar-owed guitar , Sony acid 5, and my self. Working on obtaining some proper equipment, that should help the production out big time. My dream as many others out there, is to just be able to sit in a phat studio and just create some of the most wickedest sounds, let my mind free. |
